January 7, 2014:
My cat and I are soulmates.
I got Liviana many years ago. She was a stray that made it to my front porch. At the time I was going through a lot of relationship difficulties - bad breakups, lingering feelings, lots of nonsense. Livie's appearance marked an end to all that because I realized that I should be devoted to her rather than trying to fit squares into circles.
Livie is a gorgeous long-haired cat with tortie colors. When I'm feeling poorly, she caresses me gently with her tail to comfort me. We've established a empathic bond over the years so she needs only to walk into the room to know what my mood is.
I prioritize egalitarianism between us. I despise pet-owners who compare their pets to children. Livie is not my child. She's on equal footing with me in everything. She is the most beautiful soul I've ever found with a gentle spirit, despite the hardship that she's faced living on the streets. She's my inspiration for living.
Other nonnies called troll immediately. OP played offended: "Would meme be so eager to make fun of someone for describing their relationship with their human partner in such a way? I doubt it." More-earnest nonnies proceeded to ask OP about their sexual relationship with Livie (nonexistent) and how the "soulmate" thing works. OP chose to be wanky over another nonny not using the correct gender pronouns for Livie. There was copious wank over people who consider their pets their "children," whom OP "despises." And "but does being a felineromantic asexual make you queer tho." Backup_Sunnyultimately froze the thread.
Two weeks later, the OP showed up in the common thread "Ask Me Anything." Things did not get wanky this time.
In April 2014, Smoking Alpaca Nonny 'fessed up to also being Cat Soulbond Nonny.