Elfyourmother is a Tumblr user in her mid-30s with Very Strong Opinions on SJ in Dragon Age and its fandom. As her About page says, she used to be Kylenne on JournalFen, and previously on Tumblr she was CommanderBishoujo. She is also an "otherkin":
I actually do ID as otherkin, and I’m not white, but the reason I don’t really talk about it is because pretty much all of the loudly public ones are saltine assed white people of the sort I want to slap a whole lot.
She first appeared on FFA in late June 2014, in a thread titled "Dragon Age Inquisition: How DARE a gay man write a gay man." DA character Dorian Pavus had recently been confirmed as gay, which provoked cries of "racism, bi erasure, and general homophobia" from Tumblr, including EYM:
"Fully gay" tells you everything you need to know about dg’s attitudes toward bisexual people [note: "dg" is DA lead writer David Gaider, who is himself gay]
these continual fuckups by him (and other writers/staff) aren’t “slips”, they are the mentality of someone steeped neck deep in societal bigotry toward bisexuals
how many times do they have to say bisexuality is not a legitimate orientation but merely some kind of grey area “compromise” between straight and gay before y’all stop making excuses for them?
that’s why I can’t celebrate this as some win
that’s why I’m side eyeing anyone who does
and if you need to unfollow me because of that, well, it’s alright. I’m not getting any less militant as I get older.
Some nonnies disputed whether EYM's post was all that bad, as "'Fully gay' does seem like iffy phrasing," and stated that Dorian's inspiration Freddie Mercury was actually bisexual, which has often been erased. Others disagreed on the first subject, and other nonnies state that "No one at BioWare has ever mentioned Freddie Mercury in connection to this character."Because Dorian has dark hair and a mustache, it is likely that some fans are simply headcanoning him as having been inspired by Mercury. His race was also discussed in depth.
EYM next came up on meme at the end of November in a Fandom Venting thread. Channeling her, a nonny wrote, "Ughhh I can't stop hate reading DA tumblr fandom. Meme, were you aware that Dorian's storyline in DA:I is racist, homophobic trash and that his writer, as a white man, is appropriating the experiences of gay men of color by writing him? Were you further aware that the Inquisition is a fascist, evil, white supremacist, palette swapped Venitori?"
A few days later, EYM called the character Cullen "a murdering racist piece of shit whose crimes were covered up and shoved under the table in universe and out." A nonny disputed this headcanon (spoilers). The next day, EYM was mentioned again in the same context.
On Dec. 6 in a "Fandom Hateboner" thread, one nonny ranted about certain assumptions made by SJ DA fans, such as that"no white woman had any business writing Vivienne," BioWare is "gaslighting" fans by giving Cullen a redemption arc instead of writing him off as problematic trash, and elves are PoC despite the devs saying that their closest analogues are medieval Jews, with a bit of Canadian First Nations. EYM is not directly quoted as making these arguments, but she is mentioned as a prime example of a fan who propagates them.
On Dec. 9 in an "Entitlement in Fandom" thread, a nonny links to EYM's "DA:I-critical" tag and rants,
"Basically everything in this tag, from her emotionally manipulative behaviour to her endless persecution complex. Even when she has valid points, it's lost because she's too busy crying that her white haired purple eyed Elf Queen Warden who everyone is in love with (even characters she hates, but they're 'evil stalkers') wasn't the center of attention in Inquisition."
In the same thread, nonnies later discuss how EYM has nicknamed the character Leliana "LINO," or "Leliana in Name Only," because the canon character doesn't match EYM's headcanon for her.
On Dec. 13 in a thread titled "You! Out of my fandom!", a nonny calls EYM "All the worst parts of the tumblr bioware fandom rolled into one person." Another notes that EYM has complained frequently "that nobody followed her for her fics/meta and only her Angry Black Woman rants (her words) and she would get so mad about it," but that EYM's fic and meta are
"so far into the realm of headcanon that it reminds me of how Teen Wolf fanfic doesn't resemble the actual show most of the time…Of course there's not gonna be a huge audience for what's basically your OC fanfic in a very OC version of a Bioware world, come on."
A general Dragon Age thread started on New Year's Day 2015 contained various gripes about EYM:
- One nonny wrote that they "so badly want to jump into the OMG THE ANCIENT ELVES WERE OPPRESSORS BECAUSE BIOWARE HATES POC thing … but I know it will end badly. but then I see things like this and godthe temptation"
- "There's no helping eym tbh. She uses the in-game elf situation as both warped therapy and some of the most desperate wish fulfillment I've ever seen anyone use when it came to fandom so she's never, ever going to be okay with anything canon threatening her idea of how they should be at all."
- "god, eym. She had a post with 'I don't understand why people find me intimidating' a while ago and I was just going BECAUSE YOU ARE CRAZYPANTS AND NOT IN A WAY THIS ALSO CRAZYPANTS PERSON CAN ENGAGE WITH."
- In a discussion of a relatively tame lactation fic (the "Tiddy Fic") that escaped off the fandom's kinkmeme to traumatize the delicate flowers of Tumblr, one nonny observes that per EYM, "LJ is (was?) the worst because it's 'where kinkmemes spawned' so at least some parts of fandom seem to think that every iteration of kink ever (that they aren't doing, because eym has also talked about how they're the only one doing kink right) is wrong and harmful to abuse victims."
EYM also came up the next day in a post titled "Tumblr Bullshit":
The grossest are people who hide their grossness behind the guise of social justice like eym.
Keep telling teenagers how evil and racist and horrible they are like the mature 34 year old you are, eym! :)
On Jan. 6, EYM wrote the following post:
i don’t have anon on and haven’t in over a year
come at me with all the burner accounts that you want to, none of you will ever have a platform for anything
i didn’t give a fuck when those kids on 4chan tried it
and i don’t give a fuck now
after everything I’ve been through in life
y'all will have to try a hell of a lot better than that
because if i don’t give a fuck about the head goddamn writer i sure don’t give a fuck about your opinion
learn to wipe your ass first and then talk to me
A nonny linked this and asked, "FFA, what did you do?" But, as it turns out, EYM was ranting about Wankgate.
There was more discussion about EYM on January 15: her current "shitfit over Wiccan oppression and people 'appropriating' tarot for fandom purposes"; her involvement with FF7 House; and her also being awful under her previous handle of CommanderBishoujo. She was also mentioned a few times in February, in a "Guess the Wanker" thread and in an "Ask Meme" subthread about DA.