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anddiamssemicolon ([personal profile] anddiamssemicolon) wrote in [community profile] ffawiki_backup2016-08-15 06:19 pm
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Hooks for Hands

Abu Hamza key holder
On August 24, 2013, a nonny chose to share a book in a Worst YA Novel Ever thread. This book was called Crazy-Beautiful, by Lauren Baratz-Logsted. As the nonny described,

It's a Beauty and the Beast retelling. There's this misunderstood and enigmatic male figure that our main female character (Aurora Belle) is the only one who can understand, of course. And he has hooks for hands because he lost his trying to blow up his last school.

The nonny linked to a hilarious review by Rachel Manija, which in turn linked to three other hilarious reviews. (The third review has since been deleted or flocked.)

The hooks apparently take up a significant amount of narrative attention.

Yes it mentions he has HOOKS FOR HANDS at every possible opportunity. Just so you don't forget that he has HOOKS FOR HANDS. Not just regular prosthetics, but HOOKS in the place of HANDS.

Nonnies continue riffing on the HOOKS this character has in place of his HANDS.

He chose them so he would scare even himself.

He does his laundry hookful by hookful.

He's not sure how he's going to do sex. What with the hooks. That you might have forgotten he had.

It gets a bit weird and sexual. Why is it weird again? I can't remember; maybe someone should tell me again.

The plight of those whose HANDS have been replaced by HOOKS has been mentioned periodically on meme in intervening years, such as this December 2013 Issuefic thread, this February 2014 Weirdest Wanky Pro Fic thread, this May 2014 Fic Recs: Great prose thread (despite being neither fic nor great prose), this December 2014 This Will Never Not Be Funny thread, and this wanky Terrible fandom/fanfic phrases subthread.

In April of 2015, a nonny suggested combining HOOKS FOR HANDS with "Tom. You don't have any legs." (Though note that the HFH meme came up in that thread too.)